I just had an amazing moment of clarity and realized that all of my problems in life are and were caused by a lack of patience. For example:
A lack of patience with life’s circumstances led me to leave college a semester away from a degree, to join the Navy in a career field that I despised and was horribly inadequate in.
A lack of patience with my job in the Navy led me to marry the first person who seemed to want me, even while realizing that we were not meant to be together. I mean really, who locks their new husband out of the car in the rain. On their wedding day. And laughs.
A lack of patience and acceptance between my stepmom, my dad and myself led to all kinds of messes including my joining the military, the falling out between all of us, and ultimately led to my being cut out of all of the family pictures at my dad’s funeral, and being cast out of that family.
A lack of patience with my brother and sister when younger has led to me never being close to them like a family should be. My children have modeled for me how things should have been for me as a kid. They are so forgiving and very close to one another.
A lack of patience with my own children has led to me losing my temper, yelling and hurting their feelings. Luckily they are still young enough that I get a second chance to do this right. I’ve been much better recently, consciously keeping my voice soft and calm when speaking to them. With great results so far. When I am patient with them, I am able to be more empathetic to their feelings.
All of these things were shown to me today as I spent most of the day fasting and begging for divine guidance and inspiration. Well, I was also finally patient enough to sit down and read the book on patience that I bought recently. That probably helped too.
Turns out patience really is a virtue. Now time to fast some more and pray and beg for the strength to develop the patience needed to be a blessing to myself and others.